We Belong Together
by AnyaChristina
Summary: This is how things happened in my mind right after Chosen. Pretty Spuffyish, but the other characters are involved, too. Particularly Willow who realizes something about herself. . .
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: So, I don't own any of these characters. Buffy, Spike, and everything else, belong to the genius, Joss Whedon.

Summary: Just a little Spuffy, the way I think things could have and should have been. Set sometime after Chosen. Spike still ends up at Wolfram and Hart, but the circumstances change a bit.

Chapter One: The End

Sunnydale, the only place the slayer had called home for seven years, had been reduced to a pit of rock. The past two days had been a blur- her own sister had kicked her out of her home, she had battled a Hellmouth full of ubervamps, and she had lost Spike. That last part hurt the worst. She looked at the new slayers, at her sister, and at her friends and tried to feel victorious. She couldn't. The people surrounding her had been her family, but knowing how they had treated Spike had tainted them forever in her eyes. Spike, who moments before had given his un-life for them, so that they might live.

Buffy was unaware of the tears streaming down her face, but Willow wasn't.

"Buffy, why are you crying? You saved the world again. _We_ saved the world again."

"God, Willow, don't you understand? We didn't save anything! We're here, we're fine. Spike saved the world. He died so that you could live, but you can't spare one thought for him, can you?" With that, the petite blonde slayer turned and ran, hoping that she would never see The Scoobies again.

Willow began to run after her, but a warm hand on her shoulder stopped her, "Wil, dude, she just lost someone she loved. You should know what that feels like," said Faith.

"What are you talking about? Buffy knew that there would be casualties and, yeah so she had sex with Spike a couple of times. They were only"- Only what? Only friends? If they had really only been friends would Buffy have searched for him like she did when he was captured by the First? Would he have cared for Dawn the way he did when Buffy was dead? Would he have been in that house for as long as he was, surrounded by young, innocent girls without even trying to bite or seduce one? "Oh, man! They were only SOUL MATES! How could I never have realized how much he meant to her? I'm such a doody-head!" Willow declared.

The next day, Buffy arrived in Los Angeles, right at the front door of Wolfram and Hart. She knew Angel would never understand her pain over losing Spike and she knew that she didn't love Angel anymore, but somehow she felt like she needed to be by Angel's side for a little while. She cared for him and had fought beside him so many times that she believed they could be friends.

"You'll never be friends." She heard a whisper from her past-"You'll fight and you'll shag and" She shook the voice away. Spike was all she could think about and she knew that he was wrong about her and Angel. She believed in her heart of hearts that she would never be more than friends with anyone again.

Angel opened the door to his office to let Buffy in. He had expected her. He had also smelled her. Angel had spent enough time with Buffy in the past to know that she needed to talk to him about something big. He also knew that he wasn't going to be one bit happy about what she was going to say.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: Buffy Got Baked?

"Okay, Angel, what's with the 'I was expecting you' face? It's giving me the wiggins," Buffy said looking at the handsome vampire with an appraising stare.

"I'm just waiting to hear what's up, Buffy."

Buffy looked into Angel's deep, pensive eyes and realized she was right. They were going to able to be friends. He was no longer in love with her, either- the look in his eyes was the same kind of look she might receive from Xander. She knew she had come to the right place. She burst into sobs, causing the vampire to wrap his arms around her, tenderly rocking her.

"Spike, huh?"

"How did you know?"

"I knew he didn't make it. I felt it in my heart. Maybe even in my soul. I knew you loved him, no matter what you said."

"Angel, I know it isn't fair to put this on you. It has to kind of give you an ookie feeling to hear me talk about another guy, because that is sure as Hell what it would do to me. It's just that, no one else even begins to understand. Angel, my heart is breaking. I have never hurt this badly before."

At the sound of that comment, Angel got even quieter and more somber than usual. "Never?" he asked in a shaky voice.

Suddenly Buffy heard her comment as Angel must have heard it. It wasn't exactly a lie. She had loved Angel in a deep, innocent way. She had loved him without any questions and with no worry. She had the hope of a young girl then and Angel had been this dark knight- a knight in search of redemption. What she had with Spike was a whole other spectrum of emotions. He laid himself at her feet, befriended her, argued with her, and listened to her. He never lost faith in her. The First had him tortured to bits and he had waited for her. Glory had beaten him until he was unrecognizable and he had stayed true to her.

"Angel, it's not that it didn't break my heart when you left me. It did. When you broke up with me, I remember crying on Willow's lap, trying to explain to her that I couldn't even breathe I was so destroyed. The thing is- okay, remember the cookie thing? It turns out that I was finished baking. If he were to come back to me right now, I'd say 'this is it. You and me. Let's call a realtor and have her find a two-bedroom crypt equipped for a nursery.' He was like my brown sugar or- Jesus, Angel, I don't know. What ever ingredient that keeps me from being a yummy batch of Snickerdoodles. That's what Spike is. Now that it's missing- I'll bake and I'll bake- Hell, I may even burn, but I'll never be done."

"Buffy, it's going to be okay. You just have to live your life. What are you going to do now that you aren't the only slayer?"

"Oh. Well, that is kinda the other reason why I'm here. I don't like being broke and I still want to fight evil. I don't know if this is the best idea, but Angel I really need a favor."

"Just say the word and it's done, Buffy."

"Angel. . . can I have a job?"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three: New Beginnings and Old Memories

After two months at Wolfram and Hart, Angel had decided that Buffy was really starting to adjust. She was now only having two or three nightmares per night, only cried about once an hour, and occasionally smiled. 'If she is already doing this well at two months, just imagine how well she'll be doing next month,' he thought to himself. He wouldn't lie and say that he didn't love having her around, also. He loved Buffy like he loved Fred, as a little sister. Obviously there would always be something between them that was special, but he knew that they really weren't suite for each other.

Angel wasn't the only one who was excited about Buffy's presence. Fred also loved having her there. She had never really bonded with Cordelia, but she had missed having a female companion since Cordy had been in comatose. Since Angel had to avoid the daylight due to his slight aversion to sunlight, Buffy had been assigned the daytime jobs. Obviously these jobs weren't as frequent as the midnight variety, but Buffy found that it was plenty to keep her busy. That's how one night it happened that all the guys had been out on assignment and Buffy had only Fred to keep her company.

Buffy really liked Fred. She reminded her of Willow when Willow had been younger. She tended to get shy and nervous and had slight problems expressing herself to other people. Plus, Fred had her own set of issues and Buffy found that she was perfectly suited to help Fred. After all, Fred's problems were of the guy variety.

"You know, Buffy, when I first came back from Pylea, I was super interested in Angel. Somehow along the way, though, Charles and I- well, I guess you could say we clicked. Hit it off, you know. I always knew that Wesley had feelings for me, but I just didn't reciprocate. It was as if he was just too similar to me. Recently, though, we grew close, he helped me with something that I couldn't let Charles help me with and even though I love Charles, sometimes I feel like I should be with Wes, it's just that he's so somber and dark and" the innocent, small framed girl was talking so fat she looked as though her eyes might pop out. "Oh, golly, I am really rambling, aren't I? It's just that sometimes I really, really like Wesley, too."

Buffy really wanted to help her, but it was hard to tell who was right for Fred. She clearly loved Charles, but they didn't quite fit together. Wesley yearned for her in a way that reminded Buffy of Spike. Just thinking about it, her eyes welled up with tears. She also really missed Willow. She couldn't help but wonder how things were for the pretty, red-headed witch.

Willow was absolutely miserable. She wasn't in love with Kennedy, but she wasn't sure how to break the girl's heart. She was still attracted to her and, let's face it, the sex between them was still scorching. It was just that Kennedy was a spoiled and brat and still very immature. Every time she felt Kennedy's body pressed up against hers, she wished for someone else. Sometimes she wished for Tara, her soulmate, her absolute kindred. Other times she wished for someone else from her past, someone she talked to at least once a week. Sometimes she ached to cuddle up to Oz. She decided to call him. Maybe she wasn't ready to tell him she still loved him. She should definitely end things with Kennedy first. However, that didn't mean she couldn't call and hear his voice. Not that she expected him to say much. Oz wasn't the most vocal person ever.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Oz. Hey, it's Willow. What's up?"

"Nothing much. I was actually just thinking about you."

Willow's heart skipped a beat. "You were?"she asked.

"Yeah. I was just at Wal-Mart and I found a little werewolf Pez."

Willow laughed and settled in for a long chat. Oz always made her feel like she was home. "Oz, I was thinking. Maybe you could come visit me."

"Really? I'd like that Willow."

"You would?"

"Of course. Just tell me when and me and my little bus will petal on up there."

"Oz. . ."Willow whispered.

"Yeah?" he asked, sounding puzzled.

"I still love you."

TBC

Please review!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four: More Revelations

(For ownership info, see disclaimer in chapters 1 and 2)

Fred walked down the corridor of Wolfram and Hart. She entered one of her many laboratories to check up on and experiment she was running on the effect of werewolf blood on cuts. She had a theory that the blood of a werewolf could cause cuts to heal at an alarmingly fast rate. As she looked at some recent slides, she saw that her hypothesis was correct. She turned to find Andrea, one of her many assistants, to ask if any new side effects had been reported.

"Aughhhh!" she screamed as she found herself face to face with a strange blonde.

"Who the bloody Hell are you? Where am I?" Spike yelled.

"Spike? Oh my God! You are alive!" Fred drawled.

"Beggin' your pardon, pet, but do I know you?"

"No, but I'd know you just anywhere! Buffy is going to just- just- I don't know! She's going to faint when she finds out, I bet!"

Spike turned even paler than usual. Buffy; the very word was still like a prayer across his lips. He saw her in his mind- He could picture her just as she was when she was seventeen, eighteen, nineteen- he could imagine every age she had been as if it were the present. She lived in his mind, blossomed in his soul.

"Where is she? Wait- it doesn't really matter, does it? She doesn't love me. She never has and never will."

"Bull patootie!"

"Excuse me?" Spike couldn't help but laugh at the very Southern, very strange girl.

"I happen to sit next to Buffy every day while she cries over you. You have been gone for two months and she still has nightmares of you getting killed EVERY NIGHT! Come on. We are going right now." With that, Fred grabbed the vampire by his hand and pulled him away, leading him to his true love.

"What about Kennedy?" Oz asked quietly.

"She's not- I mean, she isn't really my type. She's so, I don't know, loud and abrasive. She kind of comes on too strong for me."

"Oh, well, I guess I'll be down really soon. It's just a couple of hours from here to there."

Willow's heart sank deeply into her chest. True, she was nowhere near as shy as she had been in high school, but she was still a little bit awkward. It had been hard, MORE than hard, for her to admit those words to Oz after all this time. Was he just going to ignore them? Say nothing back? Maybe she should pretend she didn't say them, too, then. Yep, she would just be cool, calm Willow. She would break up with Kennedy and get on with her life. Deep inside her chest, though, she still felt a small flicker of hope. She hoped that maybe when Oz came to stay with her. . . well, maybe there would be a little more hanky-panky than what this conversation suggested.

"Hey Oz? I can't wait to see you, you know?" Willow couldn't help but give him another chance to give her some much-needed affection.

"I'll see you soon. Bye."

'Hmmm. . .' Willow thought. It was all so hard to read. Would he really be coming down if he didn't care for her? Surely if he didn't love her, he wouldn't toy with her by coming to visit after she had made such an intimate declaration. Oz was so soulful and compassionate. Then again, what if he was being compassionate by deciding he couldn't bear to break her heart over the phone? What if he was coming to visit to make sure that she didn't have a break down when he rejected her? Her head was racing and she was so tired. She thought about it and decided that, despite the anger involved in their last meeting, she simply had to call Buffy. She had other friends, but only Buffy could really help her with this.

Buffy looked upon Spike and thought her heart was going to explode within her chest. It wasn't possible. He couldn't really be there, standing beside her. He was still so beautiful with his blonde hair and chiseled cheekbones. How could he still be so gorgeous after being dead for two months? She opened her mouth to tell him how she felt, but no words came out. She tried to move, but she couldn't. She couldn't do anything at all.

TBC

Thanks for the reviews! Keep 'em coming! Feel free to steer me in a direction- if I like it I'll listen!


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Don't own BTVS or Angel. Like everyone else, I sure wish I did. If I owned Spike, though, I SURE wouldn't be writing. . .I'd be busy

Chapter Five: Hellos and Goodbye

Oz drove his little van as quickly as he could without seriously breaking the law. He had waited for a little over three years to hear Willow say that she still loved him and he couldn't wait to get to her. He had wanted to put her fears to rest and tell her that of course he still loved her. He would have, too, except that it had been so long since he had seen Willow's face and he needed to look her in the eyes while declaring his love. Willow was so different than any girl he had ever met. He realized that people changed and that a lot could have happened in the last three years, but not a week had gone by when he didn't talk to her. Well, except for that unfortunate couple of months right after Tara died. Once she returned from England she had called to check in, see how he was doing. Willow. Whenever he thought of her, he couldn't help but think of the night she had tried to seduce him. Even though he had turned her down and even though she had tried her hardest to be downright sexy, the whole thing had been so innocent. It had been fresh and clean . . . just like his Willow

Willow and Dawn sat at a green table in a Greek restraint eating Spanokopita. They weren't really all that hungry, but they had to do something while Kennedy packed up and moved out. The brunette slayer had not taken the break-up lightly. She hadn't exactly seemed broken-hearted. Basically, she just felt amazed that someone had actually rejected her. She was annoying and rude, but she had never really felt like anyone would care about that considering the fact that she was sexy and had a pierced tongue.

"Dawnie, I'm really sorry you had to witness all that," she said, referring to Kennedy's apparent fondness for expletives.

"Willow, it's really okay. I'm almost eighteen years old. I have heard cussing before," Dawn answered with a very characteristic role of her eyes.

"I know that. I'm not trying to baby you," Willow said. Despite her words, she couldn't resist the urge to lean over and ruffle her hair. "I just love you. That's all."

"So, like how nervous are you about seeing Oz? Don't think I don't know that he's part of the reason that you dumped Kennedy like that?"

"I-I didn't 'dump Kennedy like that.' We came to a somewhat mutual understanding"

"Okay, Will! Sheesh, take it easy," laughed Dawn. It had always been so easy to get Willow frustrated. "So, have you talked to my sister?"

Willow looked down and thought her words through carefully. She didn't want Dawn to know that it felt like Buffy was gone forever. After all, she was in L.A. with Angel. That was just around the corner. "Ummm, no. But, you know how hard losing Spike was for her Dawnie. She must be struggling to make it through the days.

Buffy was so happy that she could barely contain her joy. She finally worked up the nerve to move. She crossed the room to hug him, but she was so terrified that when she reached him, he would disappear. He didn't. He held her back, held her as if he had never been so relieved to touch someone. He ran his fingers through her blonde hair, tears streaming down his face.

"Buffy," he croaked. "I love you so much."

"Spike. Oh my God, Spike. I love you, too. I was so afraid that you would never know how much you mean to me. I thought I would never get the chance to tell you that when your cold body pressed against me, that was the only time I ever felt warm. You made me warm . . . Spike? Take me to my room apartment and make love to me. Okay?" she asked him this, almost pleadingly. The pain of not having him had nearly killed her and now that he was back, she found that she had to have him. She led him to her tinted car-sunproof like all the other Wolram and Hart cars- and drove him to her apartment building.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Don't own anything!

Chapter Six: Heavenly Merging

Willow waited on a bench in front of her apartment, waiting for Oz to arrive. Kennedy was out of her apartment and had furiously told Willow that, no matter what, she would never come back. Willow was relieved by that thought. She saw Oz's van pull onto her street and began to grow extremely nervous. What if he told her that they could only be friends and immediately left? What if he brought a girl with him? She was about to turn and run when he pulled up next to her, parked, and stepped out of his van.

She was more beautiful than he remembered. She still had the dazzling ruby-colored hair and the innocent, sincere grin. She had a more womanly figure, however, and her manner of dressing had changed. She wore a blue gown with an empire waist and long, billowed sleeves- she looked like a Renaissance princess. Behind her eyes he recognized nervousness. He didn't know what to say. He wanted to tell her that he was still more in love with her than he imagined possible, that seeing her was like discovering a treasure, that she reminded him of a waterfall on a cool, summer evening- but, as usual, his words had a way of failing him. That's why he did the only other thing he knew how to do- he pulled a silver ring with a small diamond from his pocket and dropped to his knees.

Buffy kissed Spike deeply, feeling her lips press against him with an unexplainable need. She wanted him, of course, she would never stop wanting him, but her ache went further than desire now. She touched his blonde, spiky hair and felt her heart race even faster. She ran her hands up his spine, noticing the way his black, cotton shirt felt against her hands. She paid attention to details that had seemed minute in the past because now, in this moment, every small detail seemed like its own world. She kept kissing him even as she ripped the shirt off his back, unable to control her passion. That's when she felt him pull way.

"Buffy, maybe we shouldn't do this yet. I have been gone for awhile, are you sure you want to jump into this? Where is it going?" As soon as these words had left his mouth, Spike couldn't help but roll his eyes. "Oh, bollocks, I sound like a mopey woman. Come here, slayer."

With that he grabbed her around the waist, kissing her on the neck. He remembered how much she had loved to have her neck kissed. She peeled off her shirt, revealing a whit, lacy bra. He looked at her, hungry for the taste of her skin, and picked her off the ground in one fluid, smooth motion. He carried her to her bed and lay her down onto her blue comforter. He kissed her stomach, his scratchy tongue tickling her pink flesh. She sighed and pulled him back to her mouth.

"Spike, kiss me," she begged while she unzipped his black jeans. She pulled off his pants and his boxers and felt him pressing against her. "I have dreamed about this for two months, baby," she purred into his ear as she slid his hand underneath the rim of her pants. "I have dreamt of this and a little crypt for two with a white picket fence. I promise never to leave you, baby, but you can't leave me, either. Promise, Spike. Promise you won't ever leave me again." She was desperate for him to enter her. She needed him to become part of her. She wriggled out of her pants and pulled him, yanked him like a life preserver. As he entered her body, she began to sob, so happy and so scared that she couldn't understand her poor, fragile heart. All she could do was move with him, thrust when he thrusted. As she felt his body tense, she felt herself convulse, throb with pleasure, and relax into her mattress.

He rolled off her and whispered, "That is what it feels like to really make love, Buffy. To want to feel someone so badly, that when your bodies merge, you actually create more love than what was there before. Making love to you like that, Buffy- I'm not a perfect man, but if I had to guess, I'd say that it was so beautiful that Heaven itself began to cry."

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: All belongs to Joss and other writer folks, not me Chapter Seven: Everything

Changes, so at Least That's the Same

"Did that really just happen?" Willow asked herself.

Oz was still there, on his knees with a ring. He couldn't think of the right words to say and the meaning of the gesture should be fairly obvious. She wasn't talking and, although Oz loved Willow, sometimes her busy brain wore him out. "Oh, God," he thought, "She better speak soon because this silence is deafening.

"Just so that I don't look presumptuous, you are proposing right now, right?" Willow squeaked the words out. She was a little nervous at the rapidity of this turn of events.

"Yes." Oz was always a little monosyllabic, but this was ridiculous. Willow couldn't believe he wasn't going to offer a little more explanation. At least an, "I love you, I know this is sudden." She gave him a patented Willow look that clearly said, 'okay, Oz, you'd better say something here.'

"Look, Willow, I know this seems sudden. You know that I love you, so I didn't say it immediately. I think a lot of things get said that don't need to be. Believe me, if I felt like I could say something that would melt your heart or **really** express how deeply I love you, then I would. I just don't know what those words are."

"Oz, I don't want to hurt you. I told you to come stay with me and I told you I love you, but I can't just get back together with you by spontaneously marrying you. That is a little too fast. Maybe we could move in together, though. Would. . ." Willow looked down at her nails and crinkled her eyebrows in a nervous fashion. "Would that be okay for now?"

Buffy woke up with a long, cat-like stretch. She rolled over to look at her blonde, hottie of a honey. He was already awake, gazing at her with his deep, passionate blue eyes. They stayed like that for a moment entranced in the reality of the situation. Spike was still shocked that Buffy was really in love with him and Buffy was still shocked that Spike was really back. For one brief minute, the world melted away and they could really see each other relaxed and involved in a world where cuddling with your lover was the normal thing to do. Then, the silence was broken.

"There is so much we have to do today," Buffy sighed. "I wish we could just stay like this forever, but with you here, it doesn't matter. For once I'm going to be happy no matter what I do."

"Yeah, Pet, I actually have a lot I want to ask you. Why are you here in L.A. working with Peaches, for starters?"

"How do you know I work with Angel, Spike? You, like, just got back."

"The weird little chippy- the one with the Dixieland accent, she knew exactly where to find you. Stands to reason you're here most of the time."

"Don't tell me you're already starting the jealousy crap again. Captain Forehead is just my friend. I still needed to fight evil after the Hellmouth closed and it seemed like a good idea to do it here, where I can make money at it."

Spike was visibly relieved. He had tried to think of himself as the biggest and baddest of the Big Bads, but when it came to Buffy and Angel, he would always be vulnerable. He looked around trying to get a picture of how she was living. That's when he noticed something that bothered him even more than thoughts of an Angel/Buffy lovefest.

"Where's Little Bit? I can't smell her at all. It's like she's never been here."

Buffy looked down, her blonde hair cascading over her eyes. She was ashamed at how she had left Dawn there with the Scoobies. She hadn't been able to pull herself together enough even to call and check on her baby sister. She had assumed that Willow would take care of Dawn and had left it at that. She looked up at Spike and a small tears streamed down her cheek.

"That's because she hasn't ever been here. I haven't talked to her since we closed the Hellmouth. I haven't talked to any of the Scoobies, either."

Spike head was reeling. He saw that Buffy felt horrible, but he couldn't shake his anger towards her at abandoning Dawn. "The same girl that you died for, you haven't talked to her? Why the bloody Hell haven't you talked to her?"

Buffy sat up, a look of righteous indignation spreading across her face. "I couldn't! You had just died protecting the world and the way everyone had been treating you- What do you want from me? I love you, was I supposed to forget that and just accept their opinions about you?"

"Buffy," Spike sighed and touched her beautiful, porcelain skin. "I love you. Please don't let's ruin this morning. I don't want to fight. You wouldn't love me if I didn't tell you how I really feel, though, and I'm telling you that the first thing we need to do today is call Lil Sis."

TBC

Sorry it took so long to update, I have had chicken pox!


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own the Buffyverse- we all know that by now!

Chapter Eight: Business as Usual

Buffy was very nervous as she dialed Willow's number. Willow had tried to e-mail her several times and she wished she would've e-mailed back because, after three months of not talking to anyone except for Angel's group, Buffy felt like she didn't really know the Scoobies anymore. She picked up the phone, dialed the number and hung up. She sighed. She was being absolutely ridiculous. She had been the girl chosen to fight demons for over eight years now, but she couldn't pick up the phone to call her own baby sister. When she thought about Dawn, she could hardly breathe. She had been wrong to abandon her, wrong to begin a new life that completely shut out all the people who had loved and supported her. She picked up the phone and dialed again. After one ring, someone answered.

"Hello?" said a distinctly male voice.

"Hello?" Buffy answered, confused. That was Xander, Giles, or Andrew and it definitely wasn't Kennedy, Willow, or Dawn, either. The voice seemed familiar, but she couldn't place it. "Oh!" she said, realizing she had called them and should possibly offer a little more than a "Hello" back. "Is Dawnie there?"

"Buffy?" asked the mysterious voice.

"Uh- yeah."

"It's Oz!"

A million thoughts went through Buffy's mind. What was Oz doing at Willow, Kennedy, and Dawn's apartment? Buffy couldn't even begin to imagine Kennedy letting one of Willow's ex-boyfriends (Well, really, Willow's only ex-boyfriend) crash on the couch. Kennedy was a bit possessive. Possessive, rude, spoiled, and demanding in fact.

At the same time, Buffy wasn't sure she wanted Willow and Oz back together. Oz had really broken Willow's heart when he left her and he had nearly killed Tara when he came back. Their relationship could be dangerous and Buffy loved Willow way too much to want to see her get hurt.

"Oz! Wow, this is a shocker!" Buffy declared, thinking 'that's not the understatement of the year or anything.'

"Well . . . yeah, I guess it would be. I will let you talk to Dawn now, but please talk to Will when you are done. She has really missed you, Buffy."

Buffy felt a pang of guilt followed by the rising of indignation. Everyone was so quick to blame her, but maybe they should blame themselves. Maybe Buffy should have called. Maybe she had held a grudge for a little too long. What was she supposed to think? Spike had been burned alive- well, maybe not _alive_ exactly- but she thought he was gone! She had loved him so much and she thought she'd never see him again. 'You kept telling them that you didn't love him,' she reminded herself. 'How were they supposed to know?' Another voice butted in and thought-'Fine, they couldn't have known I was in love with him, but they knew he was my best friend. They knew we were usually joined at the hip. They saw how mad I was at Giles when'-

"Buffy?" Dawn came to the phone, finally interrupting Buffy's thoughts. "What do you want?"

"What?"

"Well, I haven't talked to you in three months so I figure there is a reason you called," Dawn answered in the bratty little voice that Dawn was so good at.

"You're right, Dawnie. There are a couple of things I have to tell you. I'll start with the good news, okay?"

"Whatever," Dawn responded. Buffy could practically hear her rolling her eyes.

"Well for one thing, Spike is back."

Dawn sat on the couch and sobbed. Willow and Oz looked at her with concern. She had talked to Buffy for nearly and hour. They had left her alone to have privacy while she talked to her big sister, but now they wished they had eavesdropped so they'd have some idea what was wrong.

"Dawn, what happened?" Oz asked. He didn't know the younger of the two Summers girls very well, but he hated to see a female cry.

Dawn pulled herself together the best she could. "Spike is back."

Willow looked puzzled. Okay, Spike had caused some problems in the past, but Buffy must be so happy! What was the bad news?

"I love him so much. He's like my big brother. After Buffy died, he was the only person I really felt safe around. Then- when the thing happened" –Willow knew Dawn was referring to Spike's attempted rape of Buffy- "It didn't matter to me that he had a soul. I was horrible to him. I don't care what Buffy says, I just know he'll never forgive me!" Dawn fell to the couch and sobbed inconsolably.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: As always, not mine.

Dawn woke up the next morning feeling empty. She had cried until there was nothing left inside her, now it was time to move on. She had decided to move to L.A. with Spike and Buffy and be with family. Willow had been great to keep her for as long as she had, but now Willow deserve to start her own family with Oz- she didn't need to start that relationship while taking care of a seventeen year old adopted kid. Besides, Buffy needed her. When the monks had made dawn they had made sure that Buffy would be attached.

Meanwhile, in Los Angeles, Buffy and Spike were about to face another daunting task. They were going to tell Angel that Spike was back. They had already called Giles and, although Giles had many questions and concerns, Buffy still had too much of a grudge to try and answer all his questions. She hated the way she felt toward Giles. Since around the time she lost her virginity only to later discover that the process had stripped him of his soul, Giles had become a father figure to her.

Buffy was optimistic. She really believed that, after the past three months, Angel was really going to be welcoming towards Spike. They were kin after all, and losing Spike had caused a pain that, although he would never have admitted it, cut Angel to the core of his being. Even Buffy didn't know how badly it had hurt him. The truth was, sometimes Angel would sit behind closed doors and cry. Spike had been a real pain in the ass to angel through the years, but he had been the only true companion Angel had through the years. Until he met Doyle, of course. Then he would think about Doyle and that would cause him to miss Cordy and THAT led to . . . the truth. Angel realized that every friend he had would probably die before him. Some of the demons may outlast him. Fred, Wes, Gunn, Buffy, Dawn, and all the other mortals he loved though would be dead before Angel ever reached his eternal sleep.

Buffy and Spike knocked on Angel's office door. They felt awkward. They hated to keep their hands off each other, but they both felt a loyalty to Angel that stopped them from displaying their affections for each other in front of him.

"Come in," he called.

They entered and Angel stared. There were no words in his head for several minutes. He felt like someone had kicked him in the stomach then handed him a million dollars. He could see from Buffy's eyes that she was really gone; he had no chance of ever holding her again now that Spike was back. At the same time, Spike was back. Spike, his grandchilde. Although he felt that same pang of annoyance at Spike's cocky appearance, he felt like a piece of him had come back to life. 'How?' he thought to himself. "How is Spike back and how did I not feel him come back?"

"Spike. You're back. How is this possible?"

"Well, the truth is I don't know. I was burning alive in Sunnydale, then I was floating about in sodding darkness thinking about Goldilocks here, and then I was in your labs. You're little Southern Belle took me to Buffy."

"Fred," Angel said quietly. "Fred knew you were back and didn't tell me. Well, she's fired."

"Angel, no you can't fire Fred. She only kept it a secret out of respect for me. We have become so close, you know."Buffy cried despondently.

"Well, Spike . . ." Angel drew in a long breath, then released it. "The truth is, I'm glad you are back. I won't lie and say that the thought of you with Buffy doesn't make me want to rip your head off," as if to illustrate his point, Angel's face vamped as he said this, "but I want her to be happy. Even if that means she is with a little punk like you. Now, Spike, I have one more question," Angel concluded shaking off his vamp face. "Are you comfortable with a company car and a six figure salary?"

TBC

Sorry my chaps are short- I try to keep them all with one theme


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: Not really mine, I'm just a fan, I don't own BTVS or Angel. . .

Chapter Ten: Something Real

After Spike and Buff had at last returned home from the stressful events of the day, they found that they were finally free to enjoy being a couple. Spike was back on Earth, Buffy's slayer duties had been lessened substantially, and Dawn wasn't arriving for two more days. They had peace, they had quiet, and they had about six cartons of delicious, greasy take-out Chinese food. They ate silently with their hands entwined enjoyed the paradise of being next to each other. Neither spoke. They both knew that, as perfect as the moment was, speaking could damage their happiness and neither was willing to risk any displeasure. The sun was setting in the skyline; they could see it through the tinted windows of Buffy's apartment. They watched in awe of the beauty as Buffy drifted to sleep against Spike's strong shoulder. He relaxed but couldn't sleep; all he could do was enjoy the way it felt to have her trust and love him.

Hours later, Buffy woke up to find that Spike was still sitting up next to her with a box of Lo Mien on his lap. He had finally dozed off. She got up and went to the phone. Life was too short and, even though it would be hard for her to forgive some people for the behaviors that they had exhibited towards her beloved, Buffy realized that Giles, Xander, and Willow were her family; she would always love them. It was time to put the past to rest. She waited patiently as the phone rang. Finally she heard the familiar British voice answer.

"Giles? It's me Buffy."

In England Giles sat in his comfy chair surrounded by the clutter of old books. He was shocked and needed answers. He was thrilled that Buffy had forgiven for his attempted murder of Spike, but that didn't stop him from being wary. Spike was a vampire. The good news about Spike was that, since his soul had been a gift, not a curse, he would not lose his soul if he became to happy with Buffy. The bad news was that, besides being a vampire, Spike was also impetuous, imprudent, and overly emotional. He would never be able to provide Buffy with the level head that Angel and Riley had, He would never fit into her group of friends. In many ways, spike would hold Buffy back. At that moment, Giles decided that, although he cared for Buffy, spike was not a threat to her or anyone else, and he would let Buffy finally be free to make her own choices. He was just so happy that he would be able to hear her voice again that everything else floated into the background.

Xander nudged Faith. She stirred, but didn't wake. He wanted to talk to her, she was the only person who ever understood him when he became quiet and serious. He was reluctant to try too hard to wake her, however, when Faith was startled in sleep, he had a tendency to wind up with a broken nose.

No one knew that Xander and Faith were seeing each other. The Scoobies and Potentials knew that they shared an apartment, but it had two bedrooms. They had decided to keep things quiet until they figured out what they had. The problem that Xander was running into was that he knew what he wanted from her. He wanted the commitment. He loved her deeply and inside all he felt was fear that he was going to lose her. He had deeply regretted not marrying Anya, he missed her with the same amount of passion that he loved Faith. Faith was not a replacement for Anya, she could never begin to be. He loved her in a completely different way, but now he feared that he would never get to be with her in an exclusive way. He wanted to marry her, but Faith always pulled away when he got close.

He watched her sleep, relishing in the fact that she was a peaceful sleeper.

Faith carried demons with her everywhere. She was so different from Buffy, even with all the potentials Faith still felt driven to hunt in droves. She was like Angel, she felt that every demon she killed brought her closer to making up for the evil in her past. She loved Xander, too. She had never admitted it to him, but it was true. She was afraid that if they got close, he would be disappointed in her when she couldn't find joy in the things she was expected to. She was afraid that if she gave him her heart, he would inspect it only to realize that Faith, the real Faith, wasn't anywhere near being pure or cleansed. She was still very dirty.

Willow cried silently into a tissue. The sum was shining, people were laughing, and she was stuck at an airport saying goodbye to Dawn. Dawn needed to be with Buffy and Spike, but Willow hated to lose her. She couldn't help but be reminded of Tara's attachment to Dawn. Dawn was a link and her instinct was to keep her safe with everything inside of her, but Dawn was Buffy's sister and had to go.

Willow was scared of what was blossoming with Oz. They had so much fun together and things had become so normal. At night, they would go to Jazz clubs and dance and come home and dance some more. Oz would play her songs on the guitar and croon to her softly while she fell asleep. Willow had never felt anything so comfortable. They never had to work to understand each other and yet there was none of the monotony that sometimes occurs when people become too close as friends. The passion was effortless, too, as if every part of their relationship was destiny. As Willow watched Dawn's plane depart, she realized how different things would be. Buffy was in LA with Spike, no other super hero friends lived in the same town as she. She lived with her boyfriend. She had some witch friends, but no one with any incredible abilities. She had moved out of fighting demons, her life would be completely normal. She began to feel too peaceful.

"Oz?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we move to LA, too?"


End file.
